Back to English

What you see in this post is not exactly standard English; it’s not colloquial English either. It’s the type of English which you could only get in Malaysia and Singapore.

 “1 day I go 2 climb a 3 to peep, but the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and want to 5 with me. I run until I fell 6 and throw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him.  10 God he run away. 10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I call my boss and tell him I was 6. He said 5 tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also told me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don’t understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don’t know what he 1.”

(I got the above from a friend.)

What do you think that person was actually saying? Cool, huh? Writing a completely grammaticlly incorrect paragraph using numbers 1-10, and backwards!

I was at a fancy restaurant recently to celebrate Father’s Day. I took a stroll with my camera to the end of the premise and found lots of people lining up for three different ice-cream brands. Due to its popularity, the Haagan Daz section was the first to “go”. I saw this signage:

I think this is what the management wants to convey:

“The Haagan Daz ice cream refrigerator has an electrical failure. You are able to get more ice cream at the waffle counter beside the kindori stall. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

… another thing I’d like to point out:

“Dear valued customers…” (√)

Well, the management could be forgiven – it’s a Japanese restaurant.

There’s no spelling error here. Although both words are pronounced the same way,  “stationary” and “stationery” do not have the same meaning. Yet, you sometimes see mistakes.

• stationary (adj.) – not moving
  
• stationery* (n.) - writing materials like pen, pencil, eraser, exercise book etc.

Therefore, it is incorrect to say:

• I want to go to the bookstore to get some stationary. (X)
• Vehicles were stationery for hours on the highway. (X)

*NOTE:
“Stationery” does not have a plural form, so you cannot add an “-s“. So, it is wrong to say:

• I’m buying some stationeries. (X)
• I’m buying some stationery. (√)

TOEFL and IELTS are internationally known university entrance assessments that gauge the proficiency level of potential students who are about to enrol into universities. In Malaysia, we have our own assessment specially catered to local students who wish to enter public universities. It’s called the Malaysian University Entrance Test (MUET).

Candidates will be tested on the following components:

This biannual assessment is administered by the Malaysian Examination Council (Majlis Peperiksaan Malaysia – MPM). MUET is usually conducted in June and November.

Fees: RM60 per candidate; additional RM25 if you want to change the test centre.

Forms can be obtained either from the State Education Departments or the school authorities.

NOTE:
If you need some help in MUET, especially if live in Malacca , please don’t hesitate to contact me here. You may check out my brief profile here (scroll down the page).

It’s been a long time since I posted something in this blog. I’ve actually run out of ideas already Anyway, someone sent me something humourous recently.

We’ve heard of British vs. American English, but this post is about British vs. Malaysian English (Manglish). Have fun comparing:

British English vs. Malaysian English

(a) WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons:
I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Malaysians:
No stock.

(b) RETURNING A CALL

Britons:
Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?

Malaysians:
Hello, who call ah, just now?

(c) ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY

Britons:
Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?

Malaysians:
S-kews, s-kews!

(d) WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons:
Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Malaysians:
[pointing at the door] Can enter, ah?

(e) WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons:
Please make yourself right at home.

Malaysians:
No need shy shy one, lah!

(f) WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons:
I don’t recall you giving me the money.

Malaysians:
Where got?

(g) WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Britons:
I would prefer not to do that, if you don’t mind.

Malaysians:
Don’t want lah.

(h) WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE

Britons:
Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I’m trying to concentrate over here.

Malaysians:
Shut up, lah!

(i) WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION

Britons:
We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..

Malaysians:
Die lah!!

(j) WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Britons:
This isn’t the way to do it. Here, let me show you.

Malaysians:
Like that also don’t know how to do!

The conclusion is, Manglish is simple, short, concise but not easy for foreigners to understand